Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He better not be in your backpack
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
