Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
