that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You smell like stripper and shame
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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