well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
