You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
