you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
