Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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