She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
