guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
