Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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