So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
