Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
