I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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