I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
