I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
