Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
