Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
