So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
