I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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