when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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