Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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