I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
