these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
