Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
