If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
