Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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