I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
