If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
