looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
