don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
