I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
