I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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