If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
