If that was your dad, he is hot
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
