just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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