I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
whose parrot is this?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
