AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
