i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My liver just had a heart attack.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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