Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
