I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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