Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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