just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
