i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
