do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
