like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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