right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
