please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
