I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
