I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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