ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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